rectal thermometer

When a husband returned home, his grieving wife greeted him at the door.

“It’s the pharmacist,” she stated, sobbing. On the phone this morning, he insulted me horribly. I had to contact him several times before he answered the phone.”

The spouse immediately traveled down town to face the pharmacist and demand an apology.

“Just a minute, listen to my side of it,” the pharmacist said before he could speak more than a few words. My alarm did not go off this morning, so I was late getting out of bed. I skipped breakfast and dashed out the door, only to find I’d locked the home with both the house and vehicle keys inside and needed to smash a window to get out.”

“Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire.”

“When I eventually went to the store, there were a lot of people waiting for me to open. I opened the business and began serving these customers while the phone continued to ring.

He went on, “Then I had to crush a roll of coins against the cash register drawer to make change, which resulted in a splatter all over the floor. I had to go down on my hands and knees to pick up the money, as the phone continued to ring. When I stood up, I hit my head on the open cash drawer, causing me to slump back against a display with a slew of perfume bottles. Half of them fell to the ground and smashed.”

“Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.”

“Believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.”

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