A big city lawyer

A big-city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”

“I am one of the top trial attorneys in the United States, and if you don’t let me grab that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you possess,” the enraged lawyer stated.”

“Apparently, you don’t know how we handle disagreements in Tennessee,” the old farmer remarked with a smile.” We use the ‘Three Kick Rule’ to settle minor arguments like this.”

“What is the Three Kick Rule?” inquired the lawyer.

“Well, because the issue is on my land, first I kick you three times, then you kick me three times, and so on back and forth until someone gives up,” the farmer said.

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The elderly farmer stepped off from the tractor and approached the attorney. His initial kick sank the toe of his hefty steel-toed work boot into the lawyer’s crotch, knocking him to the ground. The lawyer’s final meal gushed from his mouth after his second kick to the stomach. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer delivered his third kick to the behind, sending him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay.” “Now it’s my turn.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up.” You can have the duck.”

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