A Man Decides To Leave His Wife – Her Reply Is Priceless

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever.I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years, and I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You ate in 2 minutes and promptly fell asleep after watching all of your soaps. You no longer tell me you love me; you don’t desire sex or anything else that binds us as husband and wife.

Any you’re cheating on me or you no longer love me; in either case, I’m out.

Your ex-boyfriend.

P.S. Don’t bother looking for me. Your SISTER and I are relocating to West Virginia together! Have a wonderful life!

Mr. Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that didn’t work.

I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the first thought that sprang to me was, ‘You look just like a female!’ I didn’t say anything since my mum taught me not to say anything if you can’t say something good.

And you must have confused me with MY SISTER when you served my favorite dinner, because I quit eating pork 7 years ago.

I glanced away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I hoped it was just a coincidence because my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.

I suppose everything occurs for a purpose. I hope you have the life you’ve always desired.

My lawyer told me that the letter you prepared guarantees you will not receive any money from me. So be cautious.

Your Ex-Wife, Rich as Hell and Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

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