A nun walks

A nun walks into the Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh, heavy with frustration.

“What troubles you, Sister?” asked the Mother Superior. “I thought this was the day you spent with your family.”

“It was,” sighed the sister. “And I went to play golf with my brother.” We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.”

“I seem to recall that,” acknowledged the Mother Superior. “So, your day of recreation wasn’t relaxing?”

“Far from that,” the sister sniffed. “I really used the Lord’s name in vain today!”

“Goodness, Sister!” said the Mother Superior, taken aback. “You must tell me everything!”
“Well, we were on the fifth tee—and this hole is a monster, Mother—a 540-yard par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green, and I hit the drive of my life. The sweetest swing I’ve ever made: “And it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted… and it hits a bird in mid-flight!”

“Oh my!” commiserated the Mother Superior. “How unfortunate! But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister!”

“No, that wasn’t it,” the sister acknowledged. “As I was still trying to figure out what had occurred, this squirrel sprang out of the trees, seized my ball, and sprinted down the fairway!”

“Oh, that would have blasphemed me!” Mother Superior sympathized.

“But I didn’t, Mother!” the sister wailed. “And I was so pleased with myself!” And as I was debating if this was a message from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky, takes the squirrel, and flies away, clutching my ball in his paws!”

“So that’s when you cursed,” Mother Superior observed with a knowing smile.

“Nope, that wasn’t it either,” cried the Sister, anguished, “because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!”

The Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare, and said…

“You missed the f— putt, didn’t you?”

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