Man Gets Fired from Job at Walmart
After getting my new job as a Walmart greeter, a great find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day.
About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two children and yelled obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
I said pleasantly, “Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart.” You have nice children there. “Are they twins?”
The woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Damn no, they’re not twins.” The older 9 and the other 7. Why in hell do you think they’re twins? “Are you blind or stupid?”
So I said, “I’m not blind or stupid, ma’am; I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice.” “Have a nice day, and thank you for shopping at Walmart.”
My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.
Johnny Got His First Job
Little Johnny got his first job running the register at a store.
The old store owner said he would teach him how to upsell.
“Watch how I do it,” he said to the new hire.
As a customer put a bag of grass seeds on the counter, the old-timers said to him, “When you plant these seeds and the grass starts growing, you’re going to need a new lawnmower to cut the grass.”
“You know,” said the man, “I need a new lawnmower.” Of course, I’ll take one.”
After the customer left, Little Johnny said, “I think I see what you mean.” “Let me handle this next one.”
A customer stepped up to the counter and set down a box of tampons.
The young salesman Johnny said, “You know, you should get yourself a new lawnmower to go with that.”
The man asked the young salesman, Johnny, “What are you talking about?”
“It looks like your weekend’s shot, so you might as well cut the grass.”
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