Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.
A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee –
OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you – you’ve broken your finger!”
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor.
The doctor says, “Okay, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem?” The mother says, “It’s my daughter Darla, she keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight and is sick most mornings.”
The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother and says, “Well, I don’t know how to tell you this but Darla is pregnant, about four months would be my guess.”
The mother says, “Pregnant?! She can’t be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you Darla?” Darla says, “No mother! I’ve never even kissed a man!”
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, “Is there something wrong out there doctor?
The doctor replies, “No, not really, it’s just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I’ll be darned if I’m going to miss it this time!”
Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying.
“Why are you crying?” asked the other child.
“I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger.”
When he heard this, the other child started to cry.
“Why are you crying?”
“I’m here for a urine test.”
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