I have contacts.
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license.
He says: “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.”
The woman answered: “Well, I have contacts.”
The policeman replied: “I don’t care who you know! You’re getting a ticket!”
The policeman tells Johny at the police station following:
The thief who wanted to steal your wallet has got: a broken nose, three broken ribs, a concussion of the brain and he misses a bunch of his hair at the back of his head. “Please, tell me Johny, how much money did you have in your wallet?”
Johny: “Only three euros.”
The policeman: “Goodness! I suppose that if you would have ten euros in your wallet, the thief would probably not survive your self-defense-trial.”
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
“I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said.
The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.”
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she’d been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: “Do you know where your going?”
Blonde: “No, but wherever it is, it must be bad ’cause all the people are leaving.”
A policeman stops two drunks and asks one, “Where do you live?”
“Nowhere”, the first drunk replied.
“And where do you live?”, he asks the other.
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