A guy was meeting with his attorney.

A guy was meeting with his attorney. The attorney asked him, “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer said.

“Give me the bad news first.”

“Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.”

“That’s the bad news?” asked the man incredulously. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news!”

“The terrible news is that it’s of you and your secretary.”

An elephant and a turtle.

An elephant was drinking at a watering hole when a turtle approached.

The elephant looked at the turtle for a minute and then gave it a swift kick. The turtle flew through the air and landed several hundred feet away.

A zebra standing close by asking, “Why did you kick that turtle?”

“Well,” the elephant replied, “That turtle was the one that bit me almost fifty years ago.”

“And you remembered him after all these years? Boy, you sure do have a good memory.”

The elephant looked at the zebra for a minute and said,

“I have turtle recall.”

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