A man stared at a woman seated at the bar.

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

One day a drunk walked into a bar and ordered a gin and tonic.

One day a drunk walked into a bar and ordered a gin and tonic.

He drank half of it and poured the rest on the bartender.

The bartender got angry, grabbed the drunk by the collar, pulled him close to his face, and asked, “Why did you do that?” The drunk said very apologetically, “I am so very sorry sir.
Please forgive me.

I can’t help it.

It’s an illness I can’t get rid of. I am so ashamed of it.

How can I make it up to you?” The bartender answered, “Haven’t you seen anyone about this problem?”

The drunk replied, “I never thought of that.

Maybe I will.” The bartender said, “Don’t come back until you do get help,” and the drunk left.

About three months later the drunk came back to the same bar, ordered another gin and tonic, drank half of it, and poured the rest of it on the bartender.

The bartender shouted, “I thought I told you not to come back until you got help!”

The drunk replied, “I did. Now I don’t feel ashamed.”

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