Two friends go skydiving.

Two friends go skydiving.
This is the first solo jump for both of them.

The plane lifts off and the instructor gives them their last instructions: “When the light above the door turns green, you can jump.”

The first guy (who is a major stutterer) asks: “w-w-w-will the p-p-p-parach-ch-ute open o-o-on its o-o-o-own?”

The instructor says: “No sir, you have to pull the chord yourself. Just jump out, count to ten, and then pull the chord.”

The light turns green and the second guy jumps first.

After ten seconds he opens his parachute and lands safely in an open field next to a river.

After a few minutes, he hears a loud splash and he looks over to the river.

The first guy comes up and says: “N-n-ine.”


A blond guy wanted to skydive.

A blond guy always wanted to skydive.
He waited for years before he had the courage to enroll in a skydiving course.

They were taught how to jump and when to pull the cord.

The instructor told them, “First, after 10 seconds you pull the cord, if for some reason that doesn’t work, pull the second cord for the auxiliary parachute. At the bottom, there will be a bus waiting to take pick you up.”

So the blond guy takes his parachute and nervously sits down with everyone getting ready for the jump.

The light comes on and they start heading out of the plane one by one.

When it comes to his turn, the blond guy screams and jumps.

For 10 beautiful seconds, he gets to fly and hover.

Then he remembers to pull the cord.

Nothing happens.

Panicked, he pulls the other cord.

Again, nothing happens.

“Oh man,” said the blond guy to himself, “that bus better be down there or I’m screwed!”


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